The Life After
Stewart Weiss, The Jerusalem Post

A gifted artist has the ability to transform the unseen, the ephemeral and the abstract into solid, physical form. Thus, a talented sculptor can capture the nobility of his subject within marble; a dancer can convey passion and pathos through movement; a painter will allow the beauty of nature to reveal itself upon the canvas.

Sherri Mandell, in her book, The Blessing of a Broken Heart, has put pen to paper and produced a magnificent symphony of words that plays upon our most powerful emotions, from fear to loneliness to joy and hope. While on one level it is the confession of a heartbroken mother grieving for her first-born child, on a much deeper level it is the search for meaning and faith in a time and place when the unspeakable has become reality.

The murder of 13-year-old Koby Mandell on May 8, 2001 shocked not only Israel, but the whole of the civilized world. Arguably the most brutal of the more than 800 murders committed in the latest intifada, Koby's killing was barbaric even by Palestinian standards.

Having skipped school that day to hike through the wadi near his home in Tekoa, Koby and classmate Yosef Ish-Ran were found two days later bludgeoned to death in a cave, their bodies so battered that dental records were necessary to make positive identifications.

The United States condemned the murder as particularly vicious; Israeli Education Minister Limor Livnat called it "a moral stain on the Palestinian people that will never be erased."

Now, more than two years after her son's death, Mandell has written of her intense pain, her struggle to carry on with life, and ultimately her decision to distill light from darkness and blessing from despair. She writes of her newfound will to go forward: "I have been reborn. I am not the same person; I've acquired a new mission in life… to reveal each facet of light, each particle of holiness, each ray of hope."

When I mentioned to several friends that I was reviewing this book, they winced at the thought of descending into such a traumatic, depressing dungeon of darkness, much as a wounded combat soldier might avoid watching war movies, or a Holocaust survivor might have difficulty visiting Auschwitz. Their fears were groundless; no thinking person need be anxious or apprehensive about walking down this road, despite the horrible events described therein.

At its core, The Blessing of a Broken Heart contains a universal message of battling adversity and the search for a greater truth. While we may recoil at the thought of losing a child, we are enthralled and enlightened by the wisdom of this work, and the many positive messages it sends us.

THE BOOK utilizes a wide range of traditional Jewish sources as well as Mandell's own searing experience to examine complex issues such as Heaven and Hell, the goodness of God, the Messiah, Angels and forgiveness. Mandell's comments are succinct, but profound: "God is in pain when we are in pain,‘ she writes. 'He is looking through the lattice at us, His eyes filled with tears… G-d sends angels to help you when you are about to stumble. Without my angels, I fear that I would be afraid of the light, afraid of contact…. it is not my job to forgive; it is the murderer's job to ask forgiveness."

She is particularly effective when addressing her own newfound sense of purpose: "Koby is leading us to a new sense of holiness… forcing us to define ourselves, creating a deeper belief in G-d and in our mission on this earth… I best honor Koby by keeping his spirit alive. If I give in to anger and hate, then I become one of the haters, a parasite who lives on fear and hate. If I live only to seek revenge, then they have won, they have destroyed me. I will not let hatred tear me from the world and burn up my family. I will not let hatred reduce me to ashes."

Mandell keeps her chapters short and to the point, but there is a lot to digest here between the lines. She is refreshingly frank about what she believes, but quick to admit that she certainly does not have all the answers. The book is exquisitely written and superbly edited, and I would recommend it for teenagers as well as adults.

Despite the daily barrage of publicity about terrorism, we are rarely given a glimpse into the inner feelings and thoughts of its victims. The Blessing of a Broken Heart is an invaluable document if only because it allows us to do more than sympathize with a shattered survivor; it broadens our ability to empathize with someone "on the front lines," and understand the manifold layers of consequences which each violent crimes brings in its wake. Mandell has allowed us into her sanctum sanctorum, into the very recesses of her soul. The result is a book that touches our own souls.

Ultimately, there is a feeling of upliftment from this book, a steely determination to bear the pain and carry on with life. Certainly, the Mandell family has done that in a remarkable fashion, creating the Koby Mandell Foundation, which sponsors camps, healing retreats and weekends for terror victims and their families.

They are but one shining example of the indomitable spirit of the Jewish People, who — bruised and battered as we may be — continue to fight Evil and pursue Life. Sherri Mandell's words are inspiring for all of us.

— The writer, director of the Jewish Outreach Center of Ra'anana, is father of Ari, a soldier who was killed in the line of duty last year.